Wednesday, February 14, 2007

amusing and useful

How to Fall Down

(Photo: Kagen McLeod)

 

Y ou never forget your first fall. Mine was in the stairwell of my building. I was simultaneously putting on my coat while balancing a behemoth shoulder satchel and two bags of recycling while wearing, of course, a ridiculously pitched pair of Barbie-appropriate pumps. I was three blocks away before I realized my tights were torn and both knees were bleeding.

With the sheer volume of crap we lug around, the urge to be the first in the crosswalk when the light changes, and our beloved, perilous footwear, it is no wonder that a stroll down Madison Avenue can be a dangerous act for women. Sidewalk cracks, iPod-induced disorientation, and cell-phone walk-and-talk only add to the inevitability of trips and slips. The most hazardous zone by far is the subway, where the potential for a chipped tooth and scraped palms lies at the bottom of every stairway.

When the inevitable occurs, try the following for minimal bruising to body and ego:

1. Go limp. If you try to play it off like you were just breaking into a jog, you’ll gain momentum, which means a harder impact.

2. Use your hands. Grab on to a wall, banister, or person (taking care not to bring them down with you). You won’t land as hard or bruise as much.

3. It’s better to fall backward on your behind than forward on your face. The exception is climbing stairs, in which case attempt to catch yourself with your hands and knees. In all instances, avoid the chin plant.

4. Get up as fast as possible, with little fanfare. Don’t examine the sidewalk accusingly. Tell concerned passersby you’re fine, and walk away briskly.

5. Try to laugh. I took a nasty plunge down the main staircase at the Astor Place Barnes & Noble (knee-high, stack-heel boots). I picked myself up, straightened my skirt, and asked, nonchalantly, “Who wants my number?” We fall down. It happens. The best we can do is try to ensure we don’t fall apart.

Posted by M at 05:49:42 | Permalink | No Comments »

Monday, December 11, 2006

Thinking about a white winter coat

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Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Lunch Box of the DAMNED

VeganLunchBox makes the best lunches EVER

Cue the scary music and ghost sounds, because it’s time for the Halloween Lunch Box! It’s a ghastly Mummy Calzone on a bed of mummy wrappings (torn paper towel), with a bucket of blood (pizza sauce) for dipping.

Two gruesome shrunken heads (a baked apple with clove eyes) rise up from a swamp of blackberry applesauce, and a little paper pumpkin holds dessert.

I saw this clever calzone in a Halloween recipe booklet at the grocery store. I veganized it by using my recipe for Broccoli Calzones in Vegan Lunch Box . I divided the wholegrain pizza dough into five pieces instead of eight, in order to roll out each piece and trim them into triangle shapes. I used a pizza wheel to cut the sides into strips, then filled the center with broccoli and tofu “ricotta”. I rounded the top strip of dough into a head and overlapped the dough strips all the way down to form the mummy body. Bits of black olives are the eyes.

For dessert, a little pumpkin filled with candy and confetti is a nice way to make a small amount of candy feel like a very special treat. Just wrap one or two pieces of candy and some Halloween confetti or toys in a circle of orange tissue paper. Twist the top and seal with a bit of green floral tape.

Verdict: “It’s very important to decide whether to eat the head or feet first,” shmoo informs. “I ate the head!” He was delighted by the shrunken heads. “Weird!” he says. I warned him ahead of time not to try to eat the cloves!

Posted by M at 21:47:46 | Permalink | No Comments »

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Guh!

I love old movies, but somehow, had never seen Gilda or any other Rita Hayworth film, for that matter.

If you haven’t seen it, I would highly recommend it. Her initial appearance alone is totally worth it.

Posted by M at 18:54:51 | Permalink | No Comments »

Tuesday, March 7, 2006

Oscars

I’ve seen the Big Dresses (Michelle Williams, Keira Knightley, Uma Thurman, Nicole Kidman) about a million times. These are two of my favorite and underadvertised looks.

Selma Blair

Yes, it’s a little on the Goth side, but I haven’t seen her work long hair in forever, and if you’re going for dramatic, what more perfect night to choose? Moreover, she made it elegant, which is always in style.

Zooey Deschanel

it’s short, it’s flirty, it’s a great post-Oscar party dress when the seriousness is over and everyone is just having fun. And she always looks like someone that you’d want to hang out with.

Then there are the others …

Jennifer Love Hewitt

She’s always fun to poke fun at, but when she makes it this easy, I don’t know where to begin - the too-tight dress? the stole-from-Grandma wig? the utter lack of lipstick? She doesn’t look like she’s having any fun. I think that she knew this was coming. There’s a reason that this picture wasn’t being widely distributed.

Uma Thurman

I thought that she looked amazing at the awards. Loved the dress, loved the hair and makeup. Did I somehow miss the sleeves? Are these sleeves? At first glance, I gave her the benefit of the doubt and assumed that it was a shawl, but no. I do believe that she’s rocking the forearm warmers.

Posted by M at 01:58:43 | Permalink | No Comments »

Tuesday, February 7, 2006

Dita Von Teese

Because you have to give props to anyone who can start out in a Lakeforest strip club and end up as a fashion muse. And she can work seamed stockings like nobody’s business. If you don’t believe that there’s an art to wearing them, try it out sometime …

STYLE & CULTURE

Greatest of Teese

Burlesque queen and fetishist has become fashion’s “It” girl.

By Booth Moore
Times Staff Writer

February 3, 2006

It’s Friday afternoon in the picket-fence suburb of Chatsworth. The sun is low as an iron gate parts to reveal a steep driveway leading to a classic, low-slung ranch house.

The front door opens and there is Dita Von Teese — a porcelain doll, not a raven hair out of place. Her scarlet fingernails are filed into pointy talons, her lipstick and beauty mark perfect.

“Would you like some water?” she asks, her hips swishing as she walks in a ramrod straight, ice blue Moschino dress.

So this is who the fashion world is buzzing about.

Everybody loves a front-row “It” girl. And this season, as the fall runway shows get underway today in New York, it’s Dita Von Teese.

How unlikely that this burlesque queen known for stripping down to her pasties while frolicking in an overgrown martini glass would enchant clothing designers and magazine editors alike? She also happens to be the new wife of shock rocker Marilyn Manson. Their wedding photos will be featured in the March issue of Vogue.

More than a designer pet, Von Teese has become a muse. And she’s racking up an impressive list of credentials.

Since her big break, posing for Playboy in December 2002, she has appeared at hundreds of events, as a guest and the main attraction. She’s performed her striptease to promote lingerie labels Victoria’s Secret, Agent Provacateur and Trashy Lingerie, and entertained at parties for DSquared, Louis Vuitton, Garrard and Christian Louboutin. She’s been to shows for John Galliano, Roland Mouret, Marc Jacobs and Moschino.

And people can’t stop giving her clothes — the couture gown Jean Paul Gaultier stitched for a wedding gift; the dozen pairs of shoes Louboutin offered as his present, the Louis Vuitton hatbox from pal Marc Jacobs.

“Dita was like a revelation to me the first time I met her,” Louboutin says. “She is a dream come true, the ultimate elegant showgirl.”

“It’s great that she got some attention by being with Marilyn Manson,” says Cecilia Dean, the editor of Visionaire magazine, who hired her to perform at a party last summer. “But she has backed it up with substance.”

Runway tour

Before Von Teese embarks on her runway tour, which will take her to New York, London and Milan, she’s agreed to give a tour of her closet, or rather closets.

Her costume room is a fantasy land of feathery boas, rhinestone-encrusted evening gloves and G-strings, platform shoes and corsets resplendent with crystals and lace, all designed by her best friend and fellow burlesque dancer, Catherine D’Lish. Sitting down in front of a ballet barre, her face silhouetted against boudoir pink paisley velvet wallpaper, she presents two glasses of water in pink crystal glasses. Her antique round-cut diamond ring — all 7 carats of it — is blinding. She has the posture of a school librarian and a strict sense of decorum to match, remarking often on what is “right” or “appropriate.”

Von Teese, 33, was born Heather Sweet in West Branch, Mich., the daughter of a machinist and a manicurist. When she was 12, she and her family moved to Irvine.

She has been interested in fashion almost as long as she has been interested in dancing, since age 5. “I wasn’t a very good ballet dancer, but I loved it,” she says. “For me, it was about beautiful costumes and hair and decadent makeup.”

She idolized Cyd Charisse, who used her classical ballet training to create risqué dance numbers, and she took in as many old movies as possible. In 1990 she was hired at a strip club called Captain Cream in Lake Forest, where she began to shape her image, wearing corsets, long gloves and hats with veils over her eyes during her act. At the same time, she began posing for fetish, pinup and retro culture magazines, taking the name “Dita” after 1920s film star Dita Parlo.

“When I was fetish modeling, people would trade me corsets for photo shoots, and I saved them all.” Today, her collection numbers 400. Her favorites are by Mr. Pearl, a custom corset designer in Paris, and Dark Star, a company out of San Francisco. (And in case you were wondering, she prefers to lace them herself.)

After a couple of years headlining at Captain Cream, Von Teese hit the road. “I was in strip clubs all over the United States — the good, the bad and the ugly.” She began performing her tribute to Sally Rand’s feather fan dance in 1993. In 1996, she paid homage to Lili St. Cyr by taking a champagne bath in a clear glass tub while wearing a pink rhinestone top hat, now displayed prominently in her closet on a high shelf.

Her travels were the perfect opportunity to amass vintage clothing. “I collected things in Texas, Rhode Island, everywhere. I made a lot of cash, took it to local vintage shops and bought the most amazing things.” Including more than 350 hats, plus dresses and lingerie.

“One of the things I love about the 1930s and ’40s is that when you shopped from the Sears catalog, you could get the hat and handbag to match your shoes, and get your name embroidered on all of it.”

In 2002, she performed her “girl in the glass” solo with Carmen Electra’s Pussycat Dolls. And Hugh Hefner came calling. He put her on the cover of his holiday issue of Playboy and gave her a 10-page pictorial.

“It changed everything for me,” she says. “Before, I was famous in a certain group of hard-core fetishists, but not the mainstream. It was hard to get publicity. But once I was on the cover of Playboy, everyone wanted to talk to me.”

Including Marilyn Manson. The two met for the first time in 1999 at the Vintage Fashion Expo, a clothing fair in Santa Monica. “I was really dressed up in a hat with a bird on it, gloves, a suit and a veil, and he was following me with his friends,” Von Teese remembers. “I was trying to shop, so finally I turned around and asked, ‘Is there something I can help you with?’”

They became friends but did not go on a date until 2002, after Manson’s split from Rose McGowan.

“I think our style has rubbed off on each other,” Von Teese says. “For example, he does not wear leather pants anymore.”

Mr. and Mrs.

The two were married Dec. 3 in the Irish castle of their friend, Austrian artist Gottfried Helnwein. She wore a purple Vivienne Westwood gown and tricorn hat by Stephen Jones; he wore a black taffeta and velvet tuxedo by John Galliano. Guests were invited to participate in skeet shooting, archery and falconry in the days after the wedding. They didn’t take a honeymoon.

Their Goth-meets-girlie lifestyle becomes apparent in the living room, where there’s a miniature coffin by the door and a carousel horse in the middle of the floor — a prop Von Teese is dusting with glitter for her act. The couple used to share a place in the Hollywood Hills, until fans started showing up on the lawn. So 1 1/2 years ago they moved to Chatsworth seeking privacy. (Yeah, a towering guy in white makeup and his vixen wife are really going to blend in.)

To the right of the living room, the kitchen is a happy homemaker’s dream — ’50s-era black-and-white tile, pink KitchenAid appliances, even pink knives. It’s where Mr. and Mrs. Manson like to dine on her specialties: beef stew and fresh fruit pies.

Manson’s moody watercolors cover the walls in the hallway. (Swastikas are a recurring theme.) In the bedroom, there’s a paisley-covered bedspread, a large wooden armoire, a vanity and a mirror — with a chain-mail purse emblazoned with a swastika hanging off of it.

“That was the first present Manson ever gave me,” Von Teese explains. “I don’t like to talk about it … but the swastika is actually an ancient symbol.”

Around the corner her real-life closet is a walk-in with shelf upon shelf of shoes, and not a pair of flats in sight. Vuitton heels studded with stones, Louboutin stilettos in fuchsia satin, Moschino peep-toe platforms and patent leather Westwood court shoes are all a dainty size 6 1/2. Two drawers open to reveal a pirate’s booty of rhinestone jewelry and tiaras.

“The only excuse for wearing sweats and sneakers is if I was painting outside or doing Pilates,” she says. “When I’m casual at home, I have a cashmere robe and mink bunny slippers. That’s what I wear when I want to be comfortable.”

She reaches for the “bird of paradise” hat she wore for the falconry portion of her wedding, placing it on her head and vamping in front of a mirror. “The birds thought I was their mom.”

Von Teese is still a big vintage shopper, but she doesn’t look for designer names.

“I like to look for things with store labels,” she says. “Stores would copy things from movies, or knock off the best designers.” One of her favorite finds is a black wool crepe dress with a corseted waist, and a drape that comes off the back. “It’s so well made, I just get the seams reinforced every few years.”

And she’s been on eBay since “the days when you could go through everything in one sitting.”

She collects vintage hosiery, which she stores in a file cabinet, and designs a line under the label the Dita Collection by Secrets in Lace. Her stockings are sold — used and unused — on her web site, www.dita.net.

Lingerie could be next, but she’s not sure about designing clothes.

“I have a lot of respect for designers and I admire what they do, so I don’t really want to one day say, ‘I’m a designer, too!’ There are a lot of celebrities who have their own clothing lines. But it’s funny when it comes to the Oscars they are wearing Valentino. It’s not nice.”

She’s not desperate to be in movies, either — “unless the part was right.”

“I would rather be famous for doing what I do best,” Von Teese says. “But everybody has seen that stripper who is past her prime. It’s not right to do forever.”

Her first book is due next month from Regan Books, titled “Burlesque and the Art of the Teese/Fetish and the Art of the Teese.” And this fall, she’ll be the face of a major cosmetics campaign.

For now, she’s just excited to be going to the runway shows.

“A lot of people just go to get their picture taken. But they don’t care about the show,” Von Teese says. “I’ve sat next to them and they are on their cellphones, meanwhile a horse and carriage pulled up and Erin O’Connor walked out in full-on Dior couture. It’s theater!”

“I’m going because I love watching the girls, I love the clothes, I love hearing the beads crash to the floor when they walk down the runway. I love seeing what they do with the hair and makeup. I wish I could just go to the shows and not be such a spectacle,” she says.

Pause.

“Not that I mind spectacle.”

Dita’s favorite things

Hats from the 1930s to 1950s. She has more than 350 in her collection, many with birds on top. But it was a modern-day Stephen Jones creation she wore for the morning of falconry during her December wedding in Ireland.

Monograms. She has her name embroidered in the lining of her mink coat.

Custom corsets. She favors Mr. Pearl in Paris, whose creations give her a 16-inch waist and start at about $5,000.

Vintage stockings. She has more than 1,200 pairs stored in a file cabinet in her closet as well as her own line of stockings for sale — both worn and unworn — at www.dita.net.

Vintage dresses. She doesn’t look for designer names but store labels from Neiman Marcus and Bergdorf Goodman.

Cashmere robes, vintage slips and mink bunny slippers. She never wears sweats.

Devonshire Rex cats. She has four of the breed — with claws intact — named Lily, Herman, Aleister and Edgar.

Posted by M at 10:30:14 | Permalink | No Comments »

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Team Jolie

I like her.


Which makes me utterly unique; I know, I know. It’s not original, I’ll get in line as the millionth girl who says that I think that she’s sexy, blah, blah, blah.

More than her movies (which have been questionable enough to test fans way more die-hard than me. Tomb Raider 2? Shudder), I like her politics and her commitment. I heard her speak at an immigration policy briefing in DC; she was poised, intelligent and concise and always made sure to direct attention to the issues at hand. The politicians in the room should have been taking notes.

I’ll still read the People articles in line at the grocery store. I’ll check out the Daily Dish at 3PM. I’m curious what they’ll name it. Mostly, though, I hope that she continues to live her life in her own way and that she can figure out some way to retain a piece for herself.

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